You’re a Good Mom (or Dad)

Most of us don’t hear that phrase enough.  Rather, we are inundated daily with messages of how we could be doing better at this or that.  Things would be better if…you just lost some weight, you made more money, you had more free time, you made money from home, your skin was smoother, you were more spiritual, you kept up with politics better, you woke up an hour earlier to read, your hair was curlier, your hair was straighter.  You get the idea.  Brene Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, talks about the most common ways that shame impacts women.  The number one way is STILL “not being thin, young, and beautiful enough” (Brown 2012, p 86).  But very close behind that is….

Motherhood.

I think if we’re all honest we can say that we are not surprised.  How many times during the day do you think you’re doing a bad job?  Or that someone else is “doing mothering” so much better than you?  Or even make mental lists of all the ways you could improve?  Now, I’m a huge proponent of challenging ourselves to be better and self-awareness of things that are out of whack in our lives.  However, the constant burden of what we aren’t doing “right” or what could be better about us is not healthy or helpful.  Feeling shame for how we parent is not only ineffective, it is toxic.

So, why am I talking about this?  I have struggled with how to prioritize my love of healthy living.  I love making fun, healthy food.  I love browsing the Coop aisles for new ways to integrate nutritious foods into our lives.  It’s fun for me and I do think it’s important.  However, I still prioritize spiritual health above all else.  And I think you can be an awesome, inspiring parent while ordering take out pizza.  If you bring donuts to the park to share with my kids, I will feel so thankful for your kindness.  I guess the point of this is, I want to grow with and encourage other mothers (and fathers).  I never want to bring shame on anyone because we do things differently.  Like I said, I value healthy living.  I think it is important and I think it can make a huge difference when we fuel our bodies the right way.  So, let’s explore that together, not throw unnecessary burdens on each other for the choices we make.  If you want some ideas for how to do this, I’d love to talk about it!  It’s so fun for me!  If you want to meet at McDonalds, I will be there.